A few years ago, in the middle of the financial crisis, the artist and musician Henry Rollins managed to express this deeply human obligation better than millennia of religious doctrine ever have: People are getting a little desperate. People might not show their best elements to you. You must never lower yourself to being a person you don’t like. There is no better time than now to have a moral and civic backbone. To have a moral and civic true north. This is a tremendous opportunity for you, a young person, to be heroic. Not that you need to martyr yourself. See, when we focus on others, on helping them or simply providing a good example, our own personal fears and troubles will diminish. With fear or heartache no longer our primary concern, we don’t have time for it. Shared purpose gives us strength.
Sometimes when we are personally stuck with some intractable or impossible problem, one of the best ways to create opportunities or new avenues for movement is to think: If I can’t solve this for myself, how can I at least make this better for other people? Take it for granted, for a second, that there is nothing else in it for us, nothing we can do for ourselves. How can we use this situation to benefit others? How can we salvage some good out of this? If not for me, then for my family or the others I’m leading or those who might later find themselves in a similar situation. What doesn’t help anyone is making this all about you, all the time. Why did this happen to me? What am I going to do about this? You’ll be shocked by how much of the hopelessness lifts when we reach that conclusion. Because now we have something to do. Stop pretending that what you’re going through is somehow special or unfair. Whatever trouble you’re having—no matter how difficult—is not some unique misfortune picked out especially for you. It just is what it is. When really, there is a world beyond our own personal experience filled with people who have dealt with worse. We’re not special or unique simply by virtue of being. We’re all, at varying points in our lives, the subject of random and often incomprehensible events. Reminding ourselves of this is another way of being a bit more selfless. You can always remember that a decade earlier, a century earlier, a millennium earlier, someone just like you stood right where you are and felt very similar things, struggling with the very same thoughts. They had no idea that you would exist, but you know that they did. And a century from now, someone will be in your exact same position, once more. The Obstacle Is the Way: The Timeless Art of Turning Trials into Triumph There’s strength, and then there’s Spartan strength, the ability to commit to working for a long period of time without any concrete evidence that it will pay off—doing it because you want to, not because you have to.
Think of it this way: Spartan strength is the determination that arises out of true commitment. Grit is the assertion and application of will to fulfill that commitment. Spartan strength emerges out of a psychic alignment to get something done. That alignment is determined and unbreakable: this is just what is going to be. Grit emerges out of the force of will that manifests action. Grit is execution. Grit actually gets shit done. Spartan strength and grit are what we’re looking for in the Death Race and in the Spartan Race. We’ve determined that they’re the most important factors in personal success. To succeed at life we must be able to do that which sucks: working late on a weekend in order to meet a deadline; doing what your boss tells you to do even if you don’t agree with it; studying for days to score high on midterms. These activities are not fun—they suck—but you have to do them in order to succeed. If you approach life the right way, you can turn that which, from the outside, looks like it will suck or be miserable into something fun to overcome. We learn to be gritty, or we learn not to be gritty. The alarm goes off at 5:00 A.M.—what do you do? Believe it or not, our success in life often hangs in the balance. If we go through life hitting the snooze button, our chances for success plunge. We are dramatically decreasing our odds of success in life. When successful executives are studied, one of the basic common denominators found is that they all wake up early and work out. None of them are hitting snooze. They all know that if you snooze, you lose. Developing grit is easier said than done, but there are specific strategies to do so, which include: Making a commitment, one that will make life better for you and for those around you. Determining what kinds of bullshit usually gets in the way of your fulfilling said commitment. Learning how to recognize the bullshit when it sneaks up on you and telling it to go away by focusing solely on the task at hand. Executing the task at hand as if your ass is on fire. Recommitting and doing it all again! Make sure the goal in question matters. Spartan Up!: A Take-No-Prisoners Guide to Overcoming Obstacles and Achieving Peak Performance in Life Our approach at Unbeatable Mind is to test a theory on ourselves, implement what works, and then discard what doesn’t.
Here are some universal laws to reflect upon. You will recognize many of these from your Sunday school class, and you may be able to add others to the list: The law of cause and effect: this law states that for every cause there is an effect. It is also known in the East as karma. Your resource is to study Patanjali’s Yoga Sutras. The law of abundance: this law states that the world has enough for everyone who abides by this law. Your primary resource for this law is the Bible. The law of winning in your mind first, before acting: this law says that you will achieve victory every time if you first see it, say it, and believe it in your mind. Your primary resources for this law are Unbeatable Mind and Sun Tzu’s The Art of War. The law of attraction: that what you fix your mind on you will attract in life. Your primary resource for this law is The Secret by Rhonda Byrne . The law of receiving: that you receive in proportion to the value you deliver in life. Your primary resources are to study Warren Buffett and Bill Gates. The Golden Rule: do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Your primary resource is the New Testaments of Jesus. The law of surrender: this law states that instead of pushing against the tide, surrender to it, and you will find enlightenment and peace. Your primary resources for this law are to study Buddha and the Tao Te Ching by Lao Tzu. The law of forgiveness: this law says that if you forgive yourself and others, you will release negativity and find happiness. Your resource is to study the life of Nelson Mandela. The law of nonattachment: this law says to let go of attachment to material things, your ideas, and ultimately to life itself for lasting contentment. The resource is to study the writings of the Dalai Lama. The law of nonresistance: this law is similar to nonattachment, but it specifically applies to nonviolence. Fighting violence with violence should be a last resort and only done in self-defense. Your resources are to study the lives of Gandhi and Martin Luther King. The law of focus: this law says that what you focus on with intensity and duration will come to pass. Your resources for this law are Unbeatable Mind and Napoleon Hill’s book Think and Grow Rich Now let’s turn our attention to the practical matter of how one goes about examining beliefs to clear them up to align with universal laws. Unbeatable Mind: Forge Resiliency and Mental Toughness to Succeed at an Elite Level All creativity and dedication aside, after we’ve tried, some obstacles may turn out to be impossible to overcome. Some actions are rendered impossible, some paths impassable. Some things are bigger than us. This is not necessarily a bad thing. Because we can turn that obstacle upside down, too, simply by using it as an opportunity to practice some other virtue or skill—even if it is just learning to accept that bad things happen, or practicing humility. It’s an infinitely elastic formula: In every situation, that which blocks our path actually presents a new path with a new part of us. If someone you love hurts you, there is a chance to practice forgiveness. If your business fails, now you can practice acceptance. If there is nothing else you can do for yourself, at least you can try to help others. Problems, as Duke Ellington once said, are a chance for us to do our best. Just our best, that’s it. Not the impossible. We must be willing to roll the dice and lose.
We have it within us to be the type of people who try to get things done, try with everything we’ve got and, whatever verdict comes in, are ready to accept it instantly and move on to whatever is next. Not everyone accepts their bad start in life. They remake their bodies and their lives with activities and exercise. They prepare themselves for the hard road. Do they hope they never have to walk it? Sure. But they are prepared for it in any case. Are you? Nobody is born with a steel backbone. We have to forge that ourselves. We craft our spiritual strength through physical exercise, and our physical hardiness through mental practice (mens sana in corpore sano—sound mind in a strong body). This is strikingly similar to what the Stoics called the Inner Citadel, that fortress inside of us that no external adversity can ever break down. An important caveat is that we are not born with such a structure; it must be built and actively reinforced. During the good times, we strengthen ourselves and our bodies so that during the difficult times, we can depend on it. We protect our inner fortress so it may protect us. To Roosevelt, life was like an arena and he was a gladiator. In order to survive, he needed to be strong, resilient, fearless, ready for anything. And he was willing to risk great personal harm and expend massive amounts of energy to develop that hardiness. You’ll have far better luck toughening yourself up than you ever will trying to take the teeth out of a world that is—at best—indifferent to your existence. The Obstacle Is the Way: The Timeless Art of Turning Trials into Triumph Emotional resiliency means that you can bounce back quickly from a setback. It is a skill that can be trained, just like mental toughness. The process is simply stated but takes time and patience to develop:
Witness the negative emotional reaction, and then interdict it to observe the root emotion beneath it. Lean into the root emotion to experience it fully, ensuring that you are avoiding denial or transference. Transmute the negative emotion to its positive sister; for example, fear becomes courage, anger becomes commitment, jealousy becomes appreciation, shame becomes pride, and despair becomes surrender. Engage the new emotion with imagery and self-talk that supports it and blocks the old emotion. Then get moving again by taking action or taking your eyes off yourself and putting them on a teammate. The positive momentum will take you to a new, more positive, emotional place. It is much easier to be resilient when the Four Attitudes of Emotional Resiliency are burned into your character. The first attitude is to have self-esteem. Self-esteem is the emotional state of feeling worthy and respected by others. Low self-esteem can come from childhood abandonment, volatile environments where your voice is not heard, or outright abuse. If these attributes exist in your consciousness, then it is imperative that you get some therapeutic help and go deep into the silence practices to taste the underlying goodness inside of you. Second, resiliency is assured if you have the attitude of being oriented toward others versus just yourself, as our second discipline of service seeks to develop. In other words, if you are service oriented, then you tend to be more emotionally resilient. This character trait shows up at the fifth plateau of consciousness development (see the afterword), associated with a world-centric, service-oriented view. Victor Frankl describes this attitude in his book Man’s Search for Meaning, which chronicles his experiences in a Jewish concentration camp. Victor survived by finding meaning through tending to others’ needs over his own…and then teaching the power of this simple truth. The third attitude is holding a positive mind-set and optimistic outlook, which we have already discussed at length. It should be no surprise that a positive, optimistic attitude impacts one’s emotional resiliency. Finally, resiliency is ensured when you have an attitude of self-control informed by a deep certainty of your “why.” When climber Aaron Roth found himself alone in the desert, literally stuck between a rock and a hard place, he finally cut his own arm off to save his life. He did it because his “why” was to survive so he could be there for his unborn daughter, showing his orientation toward others. Unbeatable Mind: Forge Resiliency and Mental Toughness to Succeed at an Elite Level “Life should not be a journey to the grave,” said Hunter S. Thompson, “with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming, ‘Wow! What a ride!’” Amazing what you can do if you want to change your life. If you don’t, your life is just going to stay the same until it eventually gets worse. The development of mental control is the foundation for building an unbeatable mind that will not fail at any worthy goal or task, including a Spartan Race. I’m not talking about developing psychic powers like bending spoons. I’m talking about learning to block out distractions so you can focus enough to operate at an elite level, whatever your goals may be. Your monkey mind refers primarily to your rational, analytical “left brain” mind, especially if it is untrained through higher education and deep concentration. It is estimated that this part of our brain accounts for roughly 12 percent of our total thinking power. The other 88 percent lies in our creative subconscious, our “right brain,” and is poorly engaged by the majority of people. The first step for developing mental control is silencing yourself enough so you can witness what is going on in your head. As you witness, you gain awareness of the external and internal influences that cause the chatter. The silence is the first layer of training for the mind. Gaining the space to witness our thoughts tames them in the process. We begin to bring our mind back under our control, allowing ourselves longer periods of focus. Then, we have the possibility of removing negative distractions and ensuring that our psychology supports our physiology. Sometimes it’s as simple as breathing deeply, holding for a period, and then releasing slowly. Epictetus, the great Stoic, defined wealth not as having numerous and extravagant possessions, but as having few wants. When you’ve been to hell and back, food, water, and shelter will suffice to make you happy. It was only after I was broke that I started to appreciate every dollar I had. Working hard all week makes us thankful for Friday. Winter makes us appreciate spring. We need an appropriate frame of reference in order to be happy. The key to true happiness, therefore, is regularly recalibrating your frame of reference. It makes life simpler, healthier, and more enjoyable. Spartan Up!: A Take-No-Prisoners Guide to Overcoming Obstacles and Achieving Peak Performance in Life Concentration training requires daily effort. The good news is that you can do enjoyable things to deepen concentration, such as breathing, yoga, and reading. Further, the better you get, the easier it is to “practice” concentration in other areas we would not typically think of, such as in physical training sessions or when playing a sport. In a crunch situation, I recommend you collapse your concentration to your breathing while maintaining relaxed awareness of the surroundings. Breathing deeply will greatly reduce the stress, slow your heart rate, and bring your nervous system back into balance. The mind will remain focused as your body comes back into balance. Then you can make better decisions in the midst of the chaos, danger, or the debilitating effect of fear. This is why breath awareness and control is the number one tool for Unbeatable Mind students who challenge themselves and push the envelope. practice doesn’t just reduce stress and enhance concentration—it has some other powerful benefits as well. First, it is important to understand that breathing works on two levels in our bodies. It strengthens and makes our physical bodies healthier. Second, it charges and balances our energy body, making that healthier and more powerful as well. The energy body is that system of energetic pathways that includes channels on each side of the spine that transmit energy up and down the spine (nadis) and points where the energy channels intersect as they spiral back and forth around the spine (chakras). The energy body is quite elaborate and has been mapped in great detail, yet it is mostly out of reach of Western scientific instruments at this time. There are three steps to breathing for optimal physical and energy health: Relearning how to breathe deeply through your nose into the diaphragm Training to do this naturally so it becomes your normal breathing pattern when awake Learning to direct the breath to anchor and trigger razor’s edge performance; when triggered you will easily increase energy, reduce stress, deepen concentration, control fear and tap into greater willpower. Unbeatable Mind: Forge Resiliency and Mental Toughness to Succeed at an Elite Level Mental toughness is a choice. First you must choose to control your mind and turn it toward success, and then the skills for mental toughness can be honed. Stress kills mental toughness, so it must be understood, harnessed, and directed into a positive force. Breathing and concentration are the best-kept secrets for establishing the conditions for mental toughness. A simple drill I use and call Box Breathing utilizes both and will change your life if you use it daily (more on Box Breathing later). Most of what we consider mental toughness is actually emotional resiliency. Learn to be emotionally resilient, and you will be mentally tough. You will be able to create exactly what you desire and avoid what you need to. You are writing the script of your own masterpiece…your life. Note that your entire life is made up of thousands of very small choices made every day. We tend to focus on the few big choices when we look forward or reflect on our life experience. However, isn’t it true that the big choices, the life-altering ones, are available only as a result of the sum total of all the small choices you made up to that point? Stress and success are defined by choice, and it is the small choices, not the big ones, that make the difference between good and excellent. Unbeatable Mind: Forge Resiliency and Mental Toughness to Succeed at an Elite Level Every morning, I always make sure I get my sixty minutes of pain—it releases all types of post-hard-work pleasure chemicals and the rest of my day feels easy in comparison. Periodically, I need to take it a step further—I have to push the absolute limits of my body. I need to go on a ten-hour bike ride or a middle-of-the-night hike with Andy. I know I have successfully reset my frame of reference when I collapse on the concrete and it feels better than a Tempur-Pedic mattress.
The Stoics of ancient Greece believed that the greatest obstacle was not death, not pain, not suffering, but cowardice. By training themselves to accept what they could not change and to be courageous in front of any obstacle, they eliminated their fear of death. Tibetan monks identified the lack of control over the mind as the greatest obstacle. So the monks spend days making sand mandala paintings, and when they’re done, they sweep away their work with a broom. It’s not about the destination; it’s about the journey and the process that gives them the opportunity to practice awareness, focus, and control. I discovered a truth that would guide much of my life thereafter: when you sign up for something, you’re forced to train for it. Just like in a business: you’re forced to work. Just like having a kid: you’re forced to take care of it. All of a sudden, you become accountable. Our Everest-like highs in life are fleeting, if we are lucky enough to achieve them at all. They are a time for reverence and humility, not fist pumps and chest bumps. Spartan Up!: A Take-No-Prisoners Guide to Overcoming Obstacles and Achieving Peak Performance in Life Great commanders look for decision points. For it is bursts of energy directed at decisive points that break things wide open. They press and press and press and then, exactly when the situation seems hopeless—or, more likely, hopelessly deadlocked—they press once more. In many battles, as in life, the two opposing forces will often reach a point of mutual exhaustion. It’s the one who rises the next morning after a long day of fighting and rallies, instead of retreating—the one who says, I intend to attack and whip them right here and now—who will carry victory home . . . intelligently.
All creativity and dedication aside, after we’ve tried, some obstacles may turn out to be impossible to overcome. Some actions are rendered impossible, some paths impassable. Some things are bigger than us. This is not necessarily a bad thing. Because we can turn that obstacle upside down, too, simply by using it as an opportunity to practice some other virtue or skill—even if it is just learning to accept that bad things happen, or practicing humility. It’s an infinitely elastic formula: In every situation, that which blocks our path actually presents a new path with a new part of us. If someone you love hurts you, there is a chance to practice forgiveness. If your business fails, now you can practice acceptance. If there is nothing else you can do for yourself, at least you can try to help others. Problems, as Duke Ellington once said, are a chance for us to do our best. Just our best, that’s it. Not the impossible. We must be willing to roll the dice and lose. We have it within us to be the type of people who try to get things done, try with everything we’ve got and, whatever verdict comes in, are ready to accept it instantly and move on to whatever is next. The Obstacle Is the Way: The Timeless Art of Turning Trials into Triumph |
Click to set custom HTML
Categories
All
Disclosure of Material Connection:
Some of the links in the post above are “affiliate links.” This means if you click on the link and purchase the item, I will receive an affiliate commission. Regardless, I only recommend products or services I use personally and believe will add value to my readers. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.” |