How to overcome shyness by changing mind states and using NLP to improve your confidence

In earlier chapters, we saw that there really is no such thing as "being" shy or "having a shy gene." So, the first belief that we will change is the belief that you are shy. You are going to take any old thoughts or self-images you may have had about being shy and replace them with thoughts and images of being confident and moving through the world in a whole new way. Don't confine
yourself to using this technique for just one belief; you can use it for any beliefs that have been holding you back. Use this method to change whatever beliefs you find less than glorious or less than resourceful.

Step One: Discover How You Doubt. The first thing to do is close your eyes and think of something that you used to believe in that you no longer do. For example, you might think about how as a child you believed in Santa Claus, which hopefully you no longer do. As you recall that belief, become aware of everything you see that is associated with the belief. More importantly, since we are paying attention to the structure of the belief, look at the different visual qualities of the belief and make note of them. Regarding what you see and your belief that is no longer true but used to be, answer these questions: Is it flat or three-dimensional? What size is it? Is it clear or out of focus? How bright is it? With your eyes still closed, tune into the sounds that are associated with this belief of yours that is no longer true. Listen closely and pay particular attention to the sound qualities as you answer the following questions: Do you hear a voice of doubt? Do you hear a voice of authority? Do you hear other sounds? How loud are the sounds you hear?

Step Two: Break State. Open your eyes, take a deep breath, and name three different things in the room. This will help you shift from a state of doubt back to your neutral state. You might even want to physically move around a little if it helps you return to your neutral, normal state.

Step Three: Discover How You Believe. Think of something that is absolutely true. Pick out something that you have no question about and believe 100 percent to be true. Choose something simple, like "The sun will rise tomorrow" or "I need to breathe air to live." We're going to elicit the same visual and auditory qualities in this powerful belief that we just elicited for the doubting belief.

Step Four: Break State. When you're done making note of all the qualities of what you see and hear, open your eyes, take a deep breath, and name three different things in the room. This will help you shift back to your neutral state. You may want to physically move around a little if it helps you return to your neutral, normal state.

Step Five: Change the Belief. Think of a limiting belief of yours. Since this is a book about confidence, think of one that relates to your confidence or shyness. A good example is: "I can't go up and meet strangers easily." This is a belief that limits many people whose social and business lives would improve if they rid themselves of it. Once you've selected your limiting belief regarding confidence or shyness, close your eyes and notice all the visual and auditory qualities of that belief. This is just what you've done in Steps One and Three.

After you've gotten the visual and auditory qualities of that belief, begin to change each and every visual and auditory quality of your limiting belief to match all of the visual and auditory qualities of something that you used to believe but no longer do—an old belief. This process recodes your limiting belief, transforming it into something you no longer believe. Make sure that the visual and auditory qualities of the limiting belief match those of the old belief as precisely as possible. When you're done transforming that belief, open your eyes. Take a deep breath and reorient yourself back into your neutral, normal state of being. Congratulations on removing a limiting belief! Since nature abhors a vacuum, we will place an empowering belief in your mind where this limiting belief used to reside. To do this, think about something with respect to your confidence that, when you believe it, will improve your life.

Belief Change Pattern 

1. Close your eyes. 
2. Think about something that you used to believe was true but no longer do. 
3. Notice all the visual qualities of that belief. 
4. Notice all the auditory qualities of that belief. 
5. Notice all the emotional qualities of that belief. 
6. Open your eyes and name three different things in the room to clear your mind. 
7. Close your eyes.
8. Think about a limiting belief you have, such as "I'm shy" or "I'm not yet confident." 
9. Notice all the visual qualities of that belief. 
10. Notice all the auditory qualities of that belief. 
11. Notice all the emotional qualities of that belief. 
12. Open your eyes and name three different things in the room to clear your mind. 
13. Adjust your limiting belief to resemble something you used to consider true but no longer do. 

I encourage you to practice changing your beliefs and experiences. You'll be surprised at how easy and effective it is!

Unstoppable Confidence: How to Use the Power of NLP to Be More Dynamic and Successful by Kent Sayre